A Father's Day gift to remember

God blesses me in so many ways. I sometimes wonder at just how much my Heavenly Father does bless me. I grew up without the benefit of an earthly father; I suppose that is one of the reasons that I love my Heavenly Father as much as I do. But my grandmother did the best she could raising a small boy in her 60's and 70's. She was a firm believer in; Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NKJV)

But never having an example of what a earthy father should be in person, I gained what knowledge I had of what a father should be from what I saw on TV and read. This time of year always made me very sad growing up. I never had anyone to give the "father's day" gifts to we made in school. I would usually just throw them away.

Then I got married and became a father myself. I remember my first Father's Day. My son was only a little over five months old. But I was a father at last. I had so many plans of the wonderful things I would get to do with my son in the years to come. He would never have to throw away the Father's Day gifts that he made for me. He would never have to not go to a father and son event because there wasn't anyone to go with him. Oh the plans I had as I looked down at his loving face. Little did I know that in less than a year my plans and life would be shattered. Through no actions of my own, my wife decided that she didn't love me or value our marriage and family as much as I did.

Fast forward two years. This would be my third father's day. I was alone. I had my son and daughter (she is and always has been my daughter, even though she isn't my biological child. She was my little girl from the first time I held her when she was 2 days old in the hospital. But that is another story for another time). No Father's Day cards or gifts. I sat in a truck stop somewhere and wished I had my family that had been taken from me. I felt so alone. During all of this, I never realized that my Father, the only Father I had ever known, was wishing that me, His son, would tell Him how much I loved Him and needed Him in my life. But I was too busy feeling sorry for myself.

Ten years later, I would meet the most wonderful woman in the world, and my two sons. God was giving me another chance. I knew that they had a biological father, just as my little girl had too. But God had given me these wonderful gifts. But I was still "Doug", not "Dad". I tried to be the best father I could be, but I wasn't their "real" father. By this time I had been apart so much from my older kids that we really weren't as close as I wished we could be.

In the spring of 1999 I asked my two youngest sons if I could marry their mom, and they said "yes". But I was still "Doug", and I so much wanted to be Dad. I was still an over the road truck driver and gone away from home for weeks and months at a time. When I was home I was more of a visitor or playmate than a parent, so I still wasn't "dad". It was during this time that I remembered my Father, and asked Him to forgive me for leaving Him. He did, and I once again became His obedient child, and for the first time in my life really understood His word and His plan for me and my life. I was so happy. I had a loving Christian wife, four great kids, and a loving and caring church family. And God was the most important thing in mine and my wife's lives. I really didn't think my life could get any better.

I sold my truck and got a job where I was home every weekend. I began to study my Bible again and attend worship every Lord's Day. I once again felt the love of God in my everyday life, and His influence in everything I said and did. It felt so good to be home with Him again.

God again showed me just how much He loved me. He was blessing Laura and me with another child. We felt a little like Abraham and Sarah. I was old, and Laura had been told that her childbearing years were coming to an end. But all of that wasn't God's plan.

It was Saturday evening, June 15, 2002; the day before Father's Day. Laura, the boys and I were sitting around the dinner table. And Laura made the announcement "Honey, I think we need to go to the hospital". She felt like it was time for our little girl to be born. I was so excited. We made the trip up to the hospital and went up to the maternity floor. The nurses examined Laura, and observed her for about 3 hours. It was the consensus that we weren't having a baby tonight, and the decision was made to send us home. When Laura sat up on the edge of the bed to get dressed, she lost about 2 units of blood. Later we found out the placenta had separated and caused the blood loss. I was taken immediately out of the room, and my wife was taken into surgery for an emergency c-section. I was in a state of shock. In a single moment I went from bliss to terror. Why was this happening now? I couldn't believe that it was part of God's plan for me to lose both of them. He has blessed me so much. I needed a father more now than I had ever needed one in my life. And I remembered where my Father was. And I got on my knees and talked to Him. I asked Him to protect my beautiful wife and little girl. I asked Him if a life were required, to please take mine and spare theirs. I told Him that no matter what happened that I loved Him and would understand. And that I knew that He was my God and I was His child, and that He knew best for me and my life.

God guided the doctor's hands, and at 12:03 AM on June 16, 2002; Father's Day; God gave me the most precious gift any man can receive. He gave me the gift of a child. My Victoria Renee was born. I got to hold her for about 30 seconds on the way to the nursery. As I stood there and looked at her, tears ran down my cheeks as I thanked God. And when I was finally able to see my beautiful Laura, I cried again as I thanked God. This Sunday will be my sixth Father's Day with Tori, and she will turn six on Monday. And there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for my special Father's Day gift that He gave me on that terror filled night in 2002. It is the one time that I received a Father's Day gift from my Father.

Children are our gifts from God; how we love and raise them is our gift back to God. I have realized what a responsibility parenthood is since the birth of Tori. I asked God for another chance, and He gave it to me. When God forgives us and gives us another chance, we must not squander it. Just as my grandmother did, I will follow the example of Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6 NKJV). I thank God everyday for her and her example.